Amanda Helm

Amanda Helm. I am 20 years old and I am a Social Work major.  Haikus posted daily. New poems posted Wednesday. Weekly Weather Forecast Posted every Sunday! Thank you for your support and kindness! 

do i dare ask you
to love me, when it will hurt
more than anything?

Amanda Helm, Haikus (12)

archive all of our memories like they matter,
like we mattered.
you and I both know the way a hurricane still destroys after
it is over.
you and I both know the way the phone rings when it isn’t ringing at all.

Tell me, do you remember?
do you remember the way my hands trembled?
do you remember the way my body slouched away from you when you
kissed me?
did it matter at all?

I took up painting after we parted and I don’t quite know how to tell you this,
but my self portrait looked like you
and I don’t know what this means,
but I know I will always be the one leaving from now on.

we can lose everyone in our lives and still relearn the way the bed feels…
cold.

If I cannot remember what my own hands feel like
what my hair smells like
what my eyes look like
how my thighs feel, clothed,
then who am I?
I was always yours.
I was always his.
I was always theirs.

I lost myself, but this time I am mine.

archive all of our memories like they matter,
like we mattered.
you and I both know the way a hurricane still destroys after
it is over.
you and I both know the way the phone rings when it isn’t ringing at all.

— Amanda Helm, Loss of You, Loss of Self  (via amandaspoetry)

(via amandaspoetry)

do i dare ask the
stars to stay out longer, so
i can fall in love?

Amanda Helm, Haikus (11)

archive all of our memories like they matter,
like we mattered.
you and I both know the way a hurricane still destroys after
it is over.
you and I both know the way the phone rings when it isn’t ringing at all.

Tell me, do you remember?
do you remember the way my hands trembled?
do you remember the way my body slouched away from you when you
kissed me?
did it matter at all?

I took up painting after we parted and I don’t quite know how to tell you this,
but my self portrait looked like you
and I don’t know what this means,
but I know I will always be the one leaving from now on.

we can lose everyone in our lives and still relearn the way the bed feels…
cold.

If I cannot remember what my own hands feel like
what my hair smells like
what my eyes look like
how my thighs feel, clothed,
then who am I?
I was always yours.
I was always his.
I was always theirs.

I lost myself, but this time I am mine.

archive all of our memories like they matter,
like we mattered.
you and I both know the way a hurricane still destroys after
it is over.
you and I both know the way the phone rings when it isn’t ringing at all.

— Amanda Helm, Loss of You, Loss of Self 

do i dare disturb
the moon and make it forget
why it is so full?

Amanda Helm, Haikus (10) 

please remember the
way we once fell in love, the
fullness of it all.

Amanda Helm, Haikus (9)

it stormed the other
night and it sounded like you.
the whole town flooded.

Amanda Helm, Haikus (8)

Weekly Weather Forecast For – August 25th to August 31st

MONDAY: Low of 86 and partly cloudy with a chance of meeting an old friend again on the street and thinking about them for the rest of the day.

TUESDAY: 83% chance of having a restless night’s sleep and not knowing whether to call him. should you call him? it pours. 

WEDNESDAY: Showers clear up by noon today and you see your reflection in the puddle and you wonder when you stopped looking like yourself. 

THURSDAY: Temperatures with a high of 89 and a chance that you will remember what their voice sounded like when they first woke up, but forget what their eyes look like.

FRIDAY: A good day to get out of the house and go to the beach even if the waves remind you of him, with a high of 92 degrees and not a cloud in sight. It is hard to be reminded of warmth. 

SATURDAY: The Humidity levels are at 73% tonight and you’ll sit on your back porch reading his favorite book and you’ll find pieces of him on page 147. You’ll read that page over and over for hours. 

SUNDAY: Partly cloudy today with a chance of packing up the last of his stuff from your apartment, only to put it back into the closet. You’re not ready. 

Anonymous
How do you fall out of love?

this is how you will fall out of love  is something i actually wrote recently, so check it out if you want. that is the only answer i can give you

Anonymous
I love her, but she doesn't love me... I let her go... but she keeps pulling me back in. I made my final decision to move on and it hurt so much...

when you leave, leave with everything you have and don’t turn back. when you let go, let go of all of it. let go of her and the memories that hurt and all the words that pierced you. be honest with her. tell her it hurts, tell her you must leave and then leave. close the door behind you. one day, it won’t hurt as much. wait for that day. 

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